The Great Greek philosopher Styrenides

The great Greek philosopher, modeler and olive pitter Styrenides (V century B.S.) in the eleven volumes of his “Brief Comments on How to Better Understand Why the Xacto Knife Fell Exactly on Your Foot With its Pointy End Down” describes, in parables, the fascinating world of model-making.

Styrenides even includes some paragraphs dictated by his wife, Methyl Ethyl Ketone –presumably under the threat of the imminent fall of a kitchen rolling pin- about the irrecoverable time wasted by grown-up men making useless toys instead of directing their efforts to deal with the house chores and honey-do lists.

In spite of his relentless dedication, fame systematically eluded Styrenides. The cause may be found in the fact that his 1/72nd scale model airplanes were made before the airplane itself was invented. Or perhaps one could argue that Styrenides had to carve his vast literary production in stone, mainly in the frontispieces of public buildings, for which he was accused of graffiti engraving.

Styrenides was eventually given the ostrakon and sent to Argentina, which was indeed a very harsh punishment; but since Argentina at that time neither existed nor could be reached, he managed to stay home.

At the end of his hard-working life he repudiated model-making and took on politics, becoming instantly rich and famous and appearing at guest-shows in a number of amphitheaters.