The Origins of the Shaolin Modeling Monks
Scale modeling is a rigorous discipline created at the Shaolin Modeling
Temple in the
beginning of time in order to hone both, spirit and flesh.
Through its practice the apprentices (usually called grasshoppers, but also monkey-head, cork-brain, flan-hand and worse) developed the necessary skills to become perfect lunatics, socially-inept, obsessive-compulsive outcasts.
After years of producing styrene dust, talking a lot, gathering immense -and mostly untouched- resource libraries and rejecting the worldly pleasures of a normal life they may have built ONE model. Or none whatsoever.
Their life was tough, so today we honor the spirits of the revered Shaolin Modeling Monks by burning incense, fanning superglue fumes and lighting ancient Humbrol tin cans, which tend to smell like hell.
The time-honored tradition of model making will thin the wallets, provide endless hours of colorful language, feed the local fauna (carpet monsters) and increase the matter transported to the Twing and Twang dimensions in the form of lost small parts that jumped into wormholes, never to be found again.
Long live scale modeling,
for although messy, it is not as messy as politics.
Long live scale modeling, for it will be the base of the next eon oil reserves
in the form of tectonically-compressed stashed plastic model kits.
Long live scale modeling, for otherwise we would have to watch TV.
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